Returning to India After 18 Years

R2IR2U - you got it!

2011-12-23T16:33:00.003+05:30

Yes - returning to the USA returning Indian... And now thoroughly confused.
We are heading back to the USA for a 1.5 year work stint. I'm rather excited. Things I'm looking forward to -
- Children's museums & children's theatre
- Infrastructure (sidewalks that work, functional pavements, roads that aren't pitted and raddled, lights on the streets, no garbage and people peeing on road corners etc.)
- Driving
- Getting home at 5:30 PM and not at 8 PM like I do now
- Getting in touch with family and friends whom I haven't seen in ages
- Not having to sign things in triplicate, 4 times over

Im going to miss -
- My mom
- Color of India
- Friendly inquisitiveness of neighbors and random strangers
- Kindness of strangers
- My maid Lakshmi - yes the very same one who destroyed my shirts, but she got the rats too and she makes me coffee every day.
- The sunshine of Bangalore

For those of you who are R2IR2U - here are some things to worry about.
Your kids school... with the best of intentions, our school cannot/will not hold our spot. So this winter, the war begins again. I don't know if we are going to be able to get our kids back into the same school. It's too bad as we LOVED the school. Positive thinking and praying, let's see what happens.
Homes - if like me you are looking at a short term move, and you like where you live - HANG ON for dear life. Setting up is a major battle. So leave things set up and either sub lease, find a house sitter or hold on if you can.
ECSS - A wonderful thing, most places offer the ECSS facility. Which means you can pay everything directly from your bank account automatically. So submit and forget it.
Taxes - Unless you are fully conversant with Indian Tax laws and the tax system, please do set up a tax lawyer who can handle your tax filing for you.
Cars - Sell em!! There will be many new, nicer models available for you when you return and car buying in India is ridiculously easy.
Furniture disposal - very difficult in India. The 2nd hand market just isn't that good, unless you have a good network of drivers, maids etc. who might be willing to buy. Plan on selling for less than 1/3rd and forgt about high ticket priced items.

Miscellaneous - think apartments that you rent, land you own, bank accounts etc. Unless they are strictly necessarily don't even bother being a remote owner... it's WAAAY too hard. Shut shop and reinvest when you are back.

More to come as we get closer to move date... In the meantime - Merry Christmas, Happy New Year.

Marginal Rate of Substitution in Bangalore

2011-07-22T06:56:00.006+05:30

If you had 3000/- INR, what could you get?

- 1.5 shirts/blouses or 0.5 of a dress from Forever New/Jack n Jones/Bennetton or any of the other fancy stores on 100 ft. road.

- A dinner for 1 at one of the 5 stars (with booze)

- A dinner for 5 at Shanthi Sagar

- A 3/4 tank of gas for a Hyundai I20 (a mid size)

- 5-6 pizza's from Domino's

- going salary for 1/2 a maid or 1/4 of a driver

- 10 bunches of fresh flowers

- 2 pairs of sandals from Metro

- Basic Groceries for 1.5 months (daal, rice). With veggies, basic groceries for 1 month.

It's Complicated

2011-06-08T12:32:00.001+05:30

There's this trend underway in Bangalore and indeed in the rest of middle class/upper middle class India with failed/failing/on the brink/just divorced/separated/taking a break/ema's/bits on the side marriages. Here I insert my disclaimer, the sample size is my acquaintance list, and it's not a scientific survey or anything but it is what I have noticed from polling people, reading up about it, talking to friends of friends etc. This is my opinion and observation only and may not represent the true state of affairs with married folk around here. Ok disclaimer done.

A large number of my acquaintances - friends I know, people I work with, people who live in my neighborhood are all going through this "It's Complicated" phase. Gosh were ever 2 words so loaded with meaning...
Anyway, so there it is - and i've been trying to figure out why (in a very unscientific manner). Here are my 2 cents -
- I think women, have developed a lot more independence and empowerment since when I was gone. There's nothing like having monetary power in the marriage equation to have the power to assert yourself. There is also a lot less reason in India these days to be nice to one's partner or to compromise.
- With the pressures of managing life in India. Work is tough, long hours, traffic, crowds, life still isn't as geared up for automation as it could be - Intolerance is on the rise. It's much harder and oh- so much more work to understand, discuss and really make compromises to make relationships work.
- It's financially not super prohibitive to be separated - unlike the US
- I think the sexual revolution has thrown off its covers and got into an oh so sexy bikini and is sashaying its way down middle india. Women and men, talk and read about sex more openly, are much more un-inhibited and are more unafraid of trying out their options.
- Men and women alike have more options, and that is perhaps a different state from the parental pressure when they were looking for partners.
- It's high stress with the working group of married folks. Hang around at an office long enough, with tons of work to do, lots of stress, a long suffering spouse and hey presto - you've got a natural masala mix ready to marinate.
- There a TON more promiscuity on TV (ok, now I just sound old and from another generation).

I am so curious to see where this will lead. This seems like such a blatant contradiction to what was traditionally touted as "the way of life". Im guessing it's a natural pendulum. It's got to swing to one side completely and will eventually come back. I do want to write back with some resources for counseling in Bangalore - for those that need it.

The new religion

2010-06-26T14:01:00.004+05:30

Pilgrimages to spas, that's my new religion.

I didn't realize how much I missed this stuff when I was in the US, until I came back and someone ran screaming when they saw me - "YIKES, it's the Yeti and it's in Bangalore".
My general appearance combined with stress wars left me acting like a Yeti as well, grumpy with claws.

So one day, propelled by a war with the hubby and the inability to find my face anymore behind the grime I started investigating, and found - oh such a plethora of options that there is almost NO reason not to de-fuzz, smell like a rose, have sparkly teeth, eyes, shiny hair and no wrinkles. And guess what, even taking away the "expat" terms it is still affordable and oh soooo convenient.

Here is where India TRUMPS a whole lot of the rest of North America and Europe. The dazzling, sparkling variety of spas and services are yummy!!!! in the US, it cost a bomb read 100/- big ones for 1 hour of something. The results are ok - not outstanding. In India they will dig into your skin find every bump and wrinkle and iron it out till nothing is left...

So there is basically the high end - you attain nirvana and pay for it; the middle end - your garden variety special temple with some amount of nirvana attached and the low end - maintenance of religious status - you pray, the spa gods hear you, you get a moderate halo of beauty and you're done! There may be other permutations and combinations but these are the ones I have experimented with.

So high end - expensive and interesting options - places like Kaya & Kosmoderma. They can suck the fat out of you. They have doctors on call who do skin analysis and then leave you in the hands of capable sales women who suck the cash out of you. A skin treatment at Kaya that spans 4 months, can run you about 20K Rs/- I haven't tried the lipo bits or the other cosmetic surgery ones yet - but there's time for that still!
There are a few high end, non surgery type spas that have sprouted in the city as well - places like Chandhan Sparsh, White Mantra Spa & Salon, The Spa at The Leela. Chandhan Sparsh for example has a membership package that starts at 20K Rs/- and you can use it year long or services to the tune of 30K.I didn't dare try the membership package but I did try a nice pedicure and a hair spa thing - the former, in a giant massaging chair with the attendant scrubbing the bottom of my feet, massaging till I almost fell asleep. The latter with a hair specialist who massaged a million things into my head and then washed it off. The end of this was a completely de-stressed me and the family loved me that night. I was too sleepy to war with any one. The price for this lovely experience - 4K Rs/- about 100 $

Middle end - places like Body Craft, YLG Spa, Bounce - They offer a different spiritual experience. For a reasonable amount of money - 4K Rs/- will get you a few nice options, an entire japanese hair straightening treatment or a mani+pedi+ hair combo OR a massage + pedi + Mani etc. In other words, this is my usual bi-weekly temple routine. I get blissed out, the fam is happy and I have restored enough energy and enlightenment to make it to work the next week.

Low end - tons of spa's in people's homes, and people willing to come to your house. Think 1K for a whole RANGE of stuff, massage, pedi's, hair oil thing, etc. The ambience, well it's as good as your home is - which in my case can be completely chaotic and insane, kids screaming, husband looking for socks etc. however, the service is EXCEPTIONAL. In other words this is my equivalent of my home pooja room - everyday maintenance!.

I have to say this - If the meaning of life is to find eternal happiness and bliss, the fast track seems to be at the spa. Get your feet rubbed by one of the experts, watch your stress melt away, have less fights, develop a more magnanimous approach to life and everyone around you and the effects rub off on everyone. I can't argue with that....

I would love to post before and after pictures, but you can't take a picture of someone who is attaining sainthood.

And the pilgrimage continues...

How not to do business...

2010-04-26T12:32:00.003+05:30

Don't open stores till 11 AM - especially if you are a coffee shop, because, really, why would you want to sell coffee earlier than that?
Employ tons of sales staff who hang around sleepily. When a customer shows up and asks a question, look confused, scratch head or other unmentionables and stare as though you were asked to procure the yeti's front tooth. Or better yet, say "can I help you" and then when you are asked a question, call your equally clueless co-worker and pass the question on. Then you, melt away into the nearest wall.

On the phone, when asked for prices do say "maam, I don't have price list for you, but you do one thing, please leave advanced payment and when it comes in, I will send you a message". Spend 45 minutes ringing up the bill and try to make at least 2 mistakes while you are at it. On the way out, have the security guard glare at you in suspicion and watch while you juggle bags, wallet etc. looking for the sales slip that will then be dutifully punched.

My favorite experience of all time tho is the military canteen. My mom loves shopping there so we go every month. Here is the process, I kid you not - find everything in the store, load into cart. Empty cart at the counter, which incidentally is TEENY tiny and results in stuff falling off all over the place. After stuff has been rung up, put it all back into the cart then proceed to the next counter and empty again. Now someone will go through the bill carefully and recheck everything you bought, this is in case the scanner and the cashier made a mistake. Then you can finally put everything into the cart and go home. The ONE thing that works is they don't give you plastic bags, it's bring your own bag, which I LOVE... at least its a nod at being green!

This is how we get stuff done around here!

Before and After

2010-03-18T09:43:00.003+05:30

Indiranagar in Bengaluru was once considered the back of beyond. It used to cost triple the auto fare to get from MG road to Defence Colony. It was inhabited by retired Defence personnel, their labradors or alsatians and their teen kids (like me). The most exciting thing you could do at that time was literally walk the dog and play a round of Badminton at the Indiranagar Club. 100 ft road was quiet, with tons of gorgeous trees and colonial style bungalows.

18 years have left their mark on Indiranagar. Most of the old retired folks have sold their properties and moved away. Their kids are all grown up and mostly live abroad. The homes in Def Col are owned by young, new money. Indiranagar club now has badminton courts, tennis courts, a really nice swimming pool, decent booze and ok food.

And 100 ft. road now has Benetton, Park Avenue Clothes, 100ft Boutique Restaurant, Little Italy, Mugen, Mainland China, Streisand Art Gallery, Bandhej for clothes, Cirrus the club, Take 5 a jazz bar, Xtreme Sports Bar, Zeiss opticians, Kyra a dinner theatre, Relaince Kitchens, Cucine Lube a kitchen store, Reliance foot wear, Reliance Eyes, Reliance Wellness, Chandhan Sparsh a Spa and High Note and B Flat another music oriented restaurant.

Personally, when I was 18 and here, I would have KILLED to have these fun outlets, food and clubs all within walking distance from my house. And now, although I miss the quiet and the pretty-ness of the old Indiranagar, I like having entertainment and shopping options at my doorstep. It also beats having to drive everywhere on the weekend. I also like not living in the "boonies" any more. It's cool to have a tony address.

On my wish list are - multi level parking lots. or at any rate an option that takes the parking off the interior streets; a traffic free day on weekends; pavements that you can walk on and not have to trail run or hike over; a little less traffic on weekends - I get the constraints, but some days it's utter chaos.

Oh well, till the time my wishes come true, at least there are a ton of bars to drown sorrows in, retail therapy to indulge in, and spas to take away the evil effects of pollution.

Om namah maths aayaha

2010-03-15T11:06:00.003+05:30

It's exam time in the city (and the rest of India) and EVERYONE, moms, dads and kids are all studying for exams.
That fact has not changed since I left India, neither has the fact that stress levels are high and all kinds of bizarre exam passing rituals are in full swing. What has changed though is that it's not just the exam takers who are conducting these rituals. Apparently, everyone else is as well. Here are some choice ones...

Temples in Chennai are offering special homams to pass Math, Finance, Economics, English etc. God, not only cares about you passing, she (im assuming these homams are for Saraswati) also cares about a barter system - offer me a coconut and flowers and i'll make you pass. Bigger and more expensive the offering, hey, maybe you will pass multiple subjects, not just the one you are praying for.

Reiki for your exam takers anyone? Krishnan's friend ran into a group of parents who were sitting outside the exam hall in meditative silence, channeling "exam passing energy" into the room where their hopeful progeny were no doubt receiving it and converting it into useful text.

Astrologers now give you special charts and wearable gizmos that can predict the outcome of your exams. Move over Predictive Analytics folks - there is a far savvier, reliable source in town.

My mom used to give me and my friends coffee laced with Kalhua - now that explains a whole lot... maybe she should have tried the whole positive aura, energy thing instead!

K and I are thankful that we are done with exams for a few years. The Valley School doesn't believe in exams until the 9th grade. That should give us enough time to strategize on approach, remove sins so Saraswati listens to us and earn enough cosmic karma so we can channel positive energy towards t's exams.

Motorcycles

2010-03-10T06:02:00.002+05:30

It's been a very sad week for everyone. My best friend's little brother got into a massive accident outside a local grocery store. He was on his motorcycle and got mowed down by Toyota CRV. He was pinned down, the driver ditched the car and ran. This poor boy has lost an arm in the process, is in an ICU getting his leg repaired, faces years of physical therapy and pain and mental trauma.

The bad guys -

SUV Driver - of course, I can't spew enough invective, I don't think I have enough bad words in my vocabulary, or enough bad thoughts in my head to do justice to how I feel. I hope he suffers, I hope everyone finds out, I hope he has nightmares every day of his life from here on out, I hope it happens to him, so he sees the other side of the coin.

Chinmaya Mission Hospital - they sit on a vast tract of land in the middle of a residential district, they let this boy bleed for 3 hours before a doctor would see him. He lost his arm most probably as a result of sitting around and waiting. I wish sueing was possible in India without getting goonda's involved.

The good guys -

Manipal hospital - god bless them, expensive but good and able to do a lot with this boy. They will get him back on his feet again.

The random strangers who helped saved him. Wish it was an emergency system with trained medical staff, but thank god for random strangers who helped.

The boy - he's doing well all considering. I and all his friends are praying, praying, praying.

The complications with all this are insurance takes forever, no one wants to handle a "police case". I mean really?????? It's easy to buy off the cops, use politicians, justice depends on who you know and how much higher your dad can piss than the other dad.

I've been doing some poking around. Emergency systems are terrible around here. You have to depend on the mercy of who is near you to get you to the hospital and check this out - a hospital can actually refuse to treat you, because it was an accident.

I would kill for a 911!

Tips and Tricks on Achieving a Wish List

2009-06-02T08:09:00.002+05:30

In Birthday Resolutions of 2007, I made a wish list of things I wanted to do
Here is the list - and outlined are the ones i've actually managed to achieve in some measure! I'm pretty proud of me :)

-> Finally take off the last 10 lbs (I've taken off 10, the other 10 should be easy)
-> Loose the fear - of my career, the world, other's opinions etc.
-> Travel more
-> Really enjoy my time here
-> Not fight with Krishnan (ok, maybe just a little)
-> Get in touch with all my friends again
-> Make more friends
-> Become non-judgemental (ok - this is a wish list - I said i'll try)
-> Get my hair fixed
-> Get REALLY healthy
-> Look really glamerous
-> Get another baby (ok this may not be completely in my hands)
-> Finish all the projects I have started and left undone (T's scrap book, the kiddy website, the kiddy library, the mommy group etc.)
-> Stop yelling and losing temper at home, with Lakshmi, with the apartment getting messed up, with the rats etc.

All the bolded ones are the ones I managed to more or less achieve.

I was struggling for time between house management, maid management, kid management, hubby management, work management (in no order). So here are some things I did.

I found a like minded mom who could come to the gym with me. We worked out together for most of the school year. I would get coffee in me, put my kid on the bus, head to the gym, be back in 1 hour and get cracking for work. My gym is a bit like an old world akhada. There's a Hanuman picture there and it's grungy and very "guy". I just decided to ignore all that because it's super inexpensive. The gym instructors were kinda grouchy and seemed to only work with the men, so I learned enough Kannada gym related questions to get myself understood and that got them to start explaining things to me. Made my experience SO much better! To keep the motivation going, I kept my i-pod locked and loaded at all times.

I got my maids very crystal clear instructions, along with pictorial check lists (they can't read) so they know what to do and I know what to check. Not quite 6SIGMA maid, but close. I thought like a team lead at home and put process in place.

On the hair, I finally found the BEST stylist in Bangalore at this Salon called Nayana, this guy called Prabhat. He's excellent if expensive. However, I decided I wasn't going to compromise on how I looked :) Makes everyone happy...

I caught up with all my old Army School Friends and had some awesome laughs :) It was great!!! nothing like hanging out, regressing to when you are 15 again and just giggling non stop, accompanied with some excellent scotch of course.
I also made it a point to get to know more people, friends from all over the place.

The Bangalore Expat club was fun and if one can ignore the occasional bitching & moaning about India, it's a cool place to meet new people.
I also shifted my party schedule... the weekends are for the family :) Wed & Thurs nites are great for dancing or dinner. I get out of the house at 9 PM, after the kids are in bed and dance myself silly till 11 PM (Bangalore Curfew time) and then crawl back into bed totally happy.
On Shopping & looking glam, I have found some cool solutions - Mysore Silk House on Commercial Street has the best materials. I found a great tailor in Indiranagar who can rip off any outfit, so I just give her all the vogue pictures I want and she replicates shamelessly for 1/2 the price. It's a win for everyone.

For getting healthy, I spent a couple of weekends teaching my maids to make a good selection of salads. So every day, she packs me salad for lunch, oats for breakfast, we bought a juicer & I taught them to operate so fresh cucumber, tomato,watermelon, orange, mausambi,pineapple juice everyday! No added sugar. The results have been great (If i say so myself, but one should ask my husband)

The most important one was the yelling - I still do on occasion when the frustration with Bangalore inefficiency gets to me. However, this is HUGELY improved, mainly, because i've let go the small stuff. I try really hard to keep asking myself, so what if - electrician or other service man didn't turn up, trash on the ground, compost heap getting attacked by maggots etc... as for the ruined clothes, I just turn it into an opportunity for charity(i.e. give them away)and a buying opportunity so my wardrobe stays fresh!

In all this our little baby girl Keerthi has arrived and she is just fabulous! If anyone wants to know about adoption in India, write to me!

Finally on hubby management - I stopped! :) I just get him what he needed from an infrastructure perspective and started having fun again, not trying to be his mommy (he has two already).

So much to do so little time

2009-06-01T11:48:00.004+05:30

There has been a long gap in my posts. Mainly because since June of last year we've been tremendously busy.

First, our little daughter came home in June... Enough said, that accounts for over 1/2 the year disappearing.

Second, we lost the rat infested home and moved to a charming, sunny and rat free apartment. It's a rarity in size and layout these days. Built in old world days (i.e early 2000), it's a large 3 bedroom, 3 generous bathrooms, 3 balconies place. With lots of sunlight, a maids room with her own bathroom and a giant kitchen with a service area. One doesn't find homes like this very often so we were really excited to get this one. Within a month we negotiated and moved in and had quite an interesting experience with movers.
The packers didn't show up with boxes and with 1 tiny truck, so we were wondering what/how they were going to move. Sent them off to get boxes, then they discovered they had no packing paper. So scrounged newspapers off everyone and finally they broke a bunch of stuff. It took them 2 days to pack & move. I fought with them & got stressed beyond belief. But we moved!!!

Third, it's been one crazy thing after then next - including a job change, a trip over new years to Munnar. Travel & exploration. More trauma about schools. A Dance performance with my kathak class etc.

If I look back at my 2007 birthday post, there is a lot I said I'd do - I've done most of it and I'm going to write a bunch about what/how & when I did it.

:) Now that life has settled down a little :)

Rats

2008-06-27T22:07:00.002+05:30

The militant rodents are back! Our environmental attempts (YES THANK YOU BINDU) took the form of a fancy compost bin called the Mota Lota from this place called the www.dailydump.org For about 5 months we've been dilligantly accumulating kitchen scraps in this mota lota. Suddenly, saw some ominous holes in the ground. Next thing I know, senior rat has dug a massive hole underneath the mota lota, tipped it over and expelled 5 months worth of compost all over the garden. UGH

Suggestions?

The recruitment drive and the job within

2008-05-24T13:23:00.003+05:30

Have you ever noticed how when you get recruited into a job you get all starry eyed looking at the benefits and the amazing work environment, the fancy free coffee etc. Then when you get the job you realized that it's not quite what you had pictured. Well marriage has been a bit like that...

In another time and place, my boyfriend was pretty cosmopolitan and cool. we were the hot and happening couple, we'd go out dancing, he always knew where the latest french movie was running, could fix the best drinks, would find the coolest places to party and would know which were the newest plays. He dressed oh so stylishly and it didn't hurt that he was seriously tall, dark & handsome, he played volleyball, and chess in places like Central Park, he could cook and made AMAZING coffe. So, he reeled me in. I didn't realize though that this was the recruitment drive. Then we got married.

When you're in the job it's a different story alltogether. We go out dancing occasionally now, and then most of the time i'm hidin because he takes his latest moves from the latest TollyWood movie. French movie? what French movie? We listen to Jodhaa Akbar songs ad nauseum. The best drinks are now soooda kaapi (piping hot coffee) with at least 5 spoons of sugar. The tall dark and handsome man is still tall dark and handsome, but now sports a nice little pot belly to go with it. The stylish dress style now favors mango colored t-shirts that have faded to a pee yellow. Our discussions now revolve around business in India, India's infrastructure and the problems of our maids & drivers, also lots on Indian politics and occasionally about cricket. The bigger problem is we don't talk as much any more. He's too busy travelling out and I'm too busy scuttling to the office. Coffee is made by a maid and she just doesn't know how to make it. The chess has of course become an online love affair with someone called X4rbit@gmail.com or Genie64@yahoo.com.
The best part though is the fixation on food and the food rituals. We now in painstaking detail insist that sambar is made, with the right amount of masala. This has to accompanied with cabbage curry or aalu vengayum curry that we devour with rice and loud lip smacking. This has to be topped with a good serving of rice and curd. Any deviations from this causes ulcers and whining for all concerned.

By the way we now have strong tamil accents - comments or kaapi yenni - wone?

Africa with the kids

2008-01-29T06:35:00.000+05:30

We had the best vacation ever - Bindu and family, Radha and family went on an African Safari to Kenya and Tanzania. Those of you who are interested in traveling with kids - this is a GREAT trip to make with kids. Bins and I (actually, mostly Bins) was the main organizer. We worked through a travel agent in Africa and went over xmas break.

Ayudha Pooja - Bengaluru Ishtyle

2007-10-21T09:24:00.000+05:30

This is the first time I'm actually doing any Navratri celebrations.

Navaratri season is coming to an end. Navaratri ends with the Ayudha Pooja, where you are supposed to worship the tools of your trade. You can see lots of vehicles on the road dressed up with flowers, banana leaves - some of them look like they're off to get married and I wonder how the drivers drive them with the windscreens obscured with flowers. I guess given Bangalore's traffic it doesn't make much of a difference...

Anyway, between the Navaratri parties and the crazy work week K suddenly sprang a surprise on me - his office was having an Ayudha Pooja and would someone please organize a priest...As usual amma to the rescue. She managed to find a priest - the guy that more or less married K and me and he promised to send his son. K tossed T, Lakshmi and me out of bed early morning (6 AM) and we all got ready. I was wearing a lovely emerald green silk, T was in a fancy kurta pyjama of course K shows up in a ratfati old yellow shirt and an even rattier pair of jeans. Much screaming and shouting later he showed up in a nice silk dhothi and a silk kurta then we marched off to pick up the priest. Guess what - the priest was still asleep - (7:30 AM) good old laid back Bangalore. He shooed K away and said he'd be ready by 8:00. In the meantime I discovered that about 12 people were coming to the Pooja and K had not organized any food. Frantic phone calls to the office and one of the guys managed to order - upuma, vadai, idli, pongal, chutney, sambar, kesari and coffee. Still no priest!

We waited at the office while amma yelled at priest's father on the phone. In the meantime, T got cranky, spilled coffee on my, cried, called me "naughty" and told me to "Shut up", got time out, sassed his pati got time out again and retired to a corner screaming and fighting. I had just about calmed him down when finally, the priest rolled in at 9:00 AM and the Pooja started.

The entire thing lasted about 30 minutes and I have no idea whether he was saying or doing the right things. Anyway, the big Pumpkin was smashed, the cars were festooned with flowers and the lemons put under the wheels. Incidentally, the symbolism is pretty dreadful- the lemons and the pumpkin are supposed to represent the sacrificial heads rolling before the auspicious occasion.Everyone STUFFED their faces with the food and went home.

We did a round of haldi kumkum in the afternoon and the evening and I noticed that many folks had done pooja to their laptops and cellphones - I guess those are the tools of trade in Bangalooru IT city!

Mommy Jobs

2007-10-05T09:03:00.000+05:30

YIKES! What a scary thought....
Check out this NY Times Article

http://www.nytimes.com/2007/10/04/fashion/04skin.html?pagewanted=2&ei=5087&em&en=acec75a34360a4e9&ex=1191643200

and http://stlcosmeticsurgery.com/pages/default.asp?NavID=321&num=2

I'm horrified - what the heck is going on - it's nice to look nice but to endure pain, scalpels and misery just so one can look nice a little longer is NUTS.

Why on earth do women have to feel apologetic about their bodies? Last I checked no guy apologized about chicken legs, beer belly or thinning hair... heck they just go on as is...

The amount of tweazing, plucking, pulling, cutting, dying and just ACHING that women will endure all so they can look "preserved" is NUTS....
This trend is catching on BIG time in India - where plastic surgery is a 1/3rd what it costs in the US and UK. You get great doctors and good recovery and this whole trend is MADDENING!!!!!!!!

Random thoughts on staff management

2007-09-23T07:59:00.000+05:30

Maid, no excuse me "staff/household help" management is a constant pre-occupation. This is a favorite water cooler conversation topic. Can't live with them, can't live without them!

Drivers don't show up at the prescribed time, because of reasons that verge on the ridiculous "I watched Shivaji late last night madam, i'm too tired", to the heart-rending, "Madam, i've been ill for over 2 weeks","my wife has had an affair and is pregnant","my uncle passed away, and I have absolutely no money to cover his funeral".

It's a tough situation for the employers and the staff. For the staff - price for living in the city is really high, conveniences are there but so are avenues for spending. You can get a reasonable salary - drivers command an average of 8000/- per month. Maids, depending on skill level, knowledge of english and live in status range from 3000/- (with all meals, free housing) to 10,000/- (really high end, expats afford them etc)

For the employers, it becomes complicated - if you take the route of treating them like high end employees - full benefits etc. they almost always give you the dump - because you are seen as a "soft" employer, a newbie, a sap. If you go harsher - strict rules, tough, yelling etc. they leave you anyway... It's a really tricky balance to strike.
Some incentives that have worked - money in the bank, a retention bonus plan etc. but none of it brings with it honest hard work and there is no accountability whatsoever. My kid's buddy Akshoo has an evil babysitter, I've seen her whack the little kid any time, she has no anger management techniques etc. Scares the heck out of me as I'm at work all day and would have no way of knowing if it weren't for my mom's surprise visits.

I look at my mom's maid, Mary, she's been with us over 18 years, her daughter is educated (thanks to mom) and has become a high end professional at an MNC. At this point, Mary is more family than anything else, however, she remains committed to mom and dad. Totally committed and loyal. There is the once in a way "situation" but for the most part, there is 150% trust. Do you know how much money she makes "1000/-" once in a way my mom tries to raise the amount, M just laughs it off and tells her to keep it...

Personally, I think that in about 10 years, there won't be any "staff" left... sort of like in the West

Birthday resolutions a few days late...

2007-09-18T07:45:00.000+05:30

For my birthday this year I will:
-> Finally take off the last 10 lbs (I've taken off 10, the other 10 should be easy)
-> Loose the fear - of my career, the world, other's opinions etc.
-> Travel more
-> Really enjoy my time here
-> Not fight with Krishnan (ok, maybe just a little)
-> Get in touch with all my friends again
-> Make more friends
-> Become non-judgemental (ok - this is a wish list - I said i'll try)
-> Get my hair fixed
-> Get REALLY healthy
-> Look really glamerous
-> Get another baby (ok this may not be completely in my hands)
-> Finish all the projects I have started and left undone (T's scrap book, the kiddy website, the kiddy library, the mommy group etc.)
-> Stop yelling and losing temper at home, with Lakshmi, with the apartment getting messed up, with the rats etc.

That's it I QUIT

2007-09-15T18:20:00.000+05:30

We have been attacked by rodents, rain, mold, cockroaches, some mysterious green insect that clings to the walls and termites. I'm done - no really, I'm DONE!!!!!!

We have several militant rats who live in our garden. These rats are busy leaving early morning turd presents for us. on our steps. I have discovered that they only respond to stale, rat poison laced chocolate muffins. Our rats like chocolate. I have also been told that the rains is what drives them out to make interior home visits. I DON'T CARE!!!!!! I just want them all dead. Lakshmi (whom I just gave a HUGE raise) takes dead rats out every day.

This week we have had so much rain that the ceiling has got wet patches and mold. I have found pale green fuzz on my shoes and my badminton rackets. Our shoe closet looks like a roach graveyard.

WAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

I want to go home! to the US - where I can call the pest control... and they fix things.

2nd day of school

2007-06-15T18:56:00.000+05:30

Day 1

Summer holidays are over and T has started school. So on June 6th a very nervous I was up at 5:30 AM, packing a lunch box, getting him ready to go. I was totally stressed out and drove everyone crazy quacking and clucking like a mother hen. Raju drove us to the school and we were on time! However, the school was complete chaos, mothers clucking, kiddies wailing and screaming - vast quantities of snot and tears everywhere. T was a STAR, he just sailed into the classroom, talked to his teacher and settled down to playing with jigsaws. He did give me a very reproachful look about the madhouse I was leaving him in...
Other than that confusion, day 1 was pretty smooth.

Day 2
This was an insane day altogether. The bus was supposed to come - we waited for 45 minutes on the curb - no luck. So panicked Raju and I drove T to school. It was even more confused than the previous day. In addition to the screaming babies there were various irate parents demanding where their respective kids were. Not a scene that inspired confidence. In another corner there were another clutch of parents, paying exorbitent amounts of school fees. T and I wandered into his class - more chaos... the kids there were screeching and yelling away and just as I was about to leave him and head out, a kid threw up on him!!! I kid you not - 2nd day of school and he has had puke hurled at his head... Poor thing. He did take it well though, much better than me. I went ballistic.. I cleaned him up and left him there and started my war with the principal - the most unconcerned person around, standing outside beaming at everyone while the interiors went up in smoke. Anyway, much shouting and yelling later we finally came to an agreement about the bus driver, his schedule and T's school routine...
I went to work and compared notes with other mommies - apparently it's as bad everywhere - go figure. The more expensive the school, the higher the level of chaos. The old Army Schools and Bishop Cotton's of the world do have their act together - unfortunately one can't get admission for love or for money!

Walk for health

2007-05-05T08:12:00.000+05:30

Today, I had a huge row with the family - K, T and of course Lakshmi. I was in a flaming temper and was simultaneously aware of a huge spare tyre developing around my middle. I decided that this would be the perfect day to walk to work. I strapped on my sneakers, laptop bag across 1 shoulder, handbag across the other shoulder, K's IPod, packed a pair of pumps for work and marched off.
I went through the neighborhood via back roads.
To get to work, I need to walk up 6th Main, down 100 ft road, cross Airport road and then into the business park. I took the back roads parallell to 100 ft road all the way to the flyover. That was really nice and relaxing, then I reached the flyover and got stuck - what to do? There's no pedestrian crossing to make it across Airport Road and no pavement lining the flyover. There's 2 choices, either I march over the pedestrian crossing, or I walk along the edge of the road and pray I don't get hit in both cases.

I decided the median (see picture) was the lesser of the 2 evils and started across. Turns out I'm not the only one who had this idea. I had reached the middle of the flyover when, I see someone else approaching me - problem is, there's only enough room on the median for 1 person. After staring at one another for a few seconds both of us did this little two step move over the median and continued on. Fortunately despite the lorries and cars whizzing by, I was still ok when I reached work.

So, athough I was sweaty, I was alive. I think the scare I got might have worn off the spare tire. I decided that squabble or no squabble, the gym was a better place to work off the annoyance and the fat... so gym it is.

Expats and us

2007-04-24T09:30:00.000+05:30

I am on a quest for new friends. On weekends, I usually spend time with my parents or with folks from work. The former, well, I don't know how much they want to hang out with me! The latter, I just end up feeling like i've spent another day at work. So I really need to meet other people. So, with much excitement I signed up for the Bangalore expats club http:\\www.bangalore-expatriate-club.com
Krishnan and I went to this dinner at a cool Tapas place called Cohiba on Church street. We met a very nice German, a nice, funny Brit, some Swedes and this completely obnoxious Swiss woman. Most of the chatter was about differences in lifestyle, getting hauled up by cops for skin color etc. Some bits I can relate to but most of it felt like whining. The Swiss woman was about the worst, 15 months in Bangalore, on expat $$ and she couldn't wait to get out of here. How bad is it? I mean really? You get paid your salary, a hardship allowance, your accomodation is free, you get a driver and a maid, you don't pay for gas. What are you left with? tons of money, vacation time and a pretty exciting country to travel around. Not to mention the satisfaction of starting something exciting at work.

That dinner left me wondering about my own identity and preferences. For K it's pretty simple - he's a deshi through and through. For me, it's not quite so b&w. To top it off, K told me that my blog read like an american who has moved back to India and that really got me mad! Mainly because I couldn't figure out what the underlying meaning was.
Anyway, these expat sessions seem to deteriorate into a long bitch fest and I'm not quite prepared to deal with that.

Here's more insight from a colleagues blog:

http://loudamericans.blogspot.com/2007/04/rhythm-of-life-plagarized-from.html

Again, bits of it I can relate but a lot of it does feel like whining!

Kiddie underwear and Woodys

2007-04-23T21:20:00.000+05:30

Here's another oddity...

I went on a quest to buy lill T some underwear. Saturday, seemed like a great day, the driver was available, mom and I drove out to Commercial Street to pick up amongst other things kiddie undies. Comm street is BUSTLING - It was always bustling, but this time, there was standing room only. The lucky folks who hit the stores at 9AM were the only ones who got parking. Fortunately, we had a driver...
We visited Lilliputs, Kids Wearhouse and 10 other stores, walked the length and breadth of Comm street and couldn't find any kiddie underwear anywhere. Then we realized our mistake. You don't get kiddie underwear in a kids clothing store... you get kiddie underwear ONLY in an underwear store... OBVIOUS innit?
So, I'm sure there is a deeper issue that ties back to class, forefathers and other Indian history, but as of now, kiddy underwear can be found only at undies stores. The best one is Brightways which is in the back alley of Comm Street. Brightways is run by this lovely charming proprietor, who has TONS of undies, not just for kids but for adults in all sizes.

So undies procured we proceeded to Woodlands hotel or Woody's as we know it on the main Comm Street. This used to be a very famous high school spot for me - many a calories have landed on my bum from this very spot. I was quite tickled to be visiting it again, But man oh man, what a crush of people... There's no system other than strong elbows and a loud voice and lots of arm waving and stepping on toes. I finally managed to get into a queue and after about 40 minutes of above procedures procured 2 masala dosas. Amma and I scarfed those down in 3 minutes flat. Granted they were good, but the problem is, Woody's doesn't look divey, it looks pretty nice, you would expect a little more service and a lot less irate, grumpy customers.
Anyway, shopping wise it was a pretty successful day, the best discovery though was the undie specialty store.

PBJelly and Shirts

2007-04-05T07:15:00.000+05:30

I asked my maid to put together a PNut Butter and Jelly sandwich. I carefully explained how it was like an ordinary sandwich but she needed to put peanut butter on one side and jam on the other. So she did... net result was, I got a sandwich with PB on the inside and Jam on the outsides.
Lakshmi is a really good soul and a sweet woman. However, she has a mortal fascination for ruining the shirts in my office wardrobe.
She has ruined 3 Eileen Fisher shirts, 4 Ann Klein Shirts and 3 other generic silk shirts. I have now reached a zen like place where these things don't bother me anymore - I try to understand what's driving her decision making and I uncover weird things. Like, with one of my shirts, I gave her explicit instructions - "Wash the skirt separately, it runs color. Wash the shirt separately as well." So she followed along, but I found that the shirt (pale blue silk) had streaks of the skirt's coloring (bright pea green).
Me - Lakshmi, what happened. Didn't you wash them separately?
L - Of course I did.
Me - so what happened?
L - I don't know. I'm shocked.
Me - Ok - tell me how you washed this.
L- Well, I first washed the skirt, and LOTS of color ran, then I washed the shirt.
Me - Suddenly clued in - Did you wash the shirt in the same bucket.
L - Yes, actually, to save soap, I washed it in the same water.
aaauuuughhhhh! To save 1 Rs/- of soap, she ruined $100/- of shirt.

Birthday parties and gossip

2007-03-24T14:59:00.000+05:30

Sometimes I feel like i'm living in a madhouse. I go from social engagement to social engagement and from one crisis to the next. Most of the social stuff is with work people and the crisis are with work people as well... god, I need new friends. There's a group of folks at work with kids roughly the same age, so we keep inviting each other to the kiddie parties. Now, the face painter and I know each other really well. I am also getting really friendly with the guy who handles the bouncy and the lady that marshalls the kids. I also know the caterers really well and know the food on the menu too. Like I said, I need new friends...
While the social life may be a bit repetitive, the crisis at work certainly are not. The kids on my team suffer from various ailments - bad backs, high blood pressure, irritable bowel syndrome, you name it and the average age is ONLY 26. They are also not very great with follow up and I have to micromanage my projects to the last millimeter.
e.g. Me - set up a conference call to Mpls will you?
Team Lead - Sure thing
Me - 2 days later, 1 day before conference call - Is everything ready for the conference call
Team Lead - Yes indeed, everything is ready.
Me - being prompted by a little devil - so you checked that we can demo
TL - Yes, I can see the demo here
Me - Ok, but can you see the demo in Mpls? How did you check?
TL - I don't know if we can see this in Mpls
Me - ok, how about the videconference equipment? Does this work?
TL - er, didn't check
Me - Now really getting steamy under the jacket - Ok, what exactly did you check
TL - Well, I booked a room here Me - How about there? TL - er no
etc....

I have taken to running 3.5 Km's a day!

However, my team is the sweetest in personality - they send me nice SMS's, hang out and chat and are looking for simple encouragement and someone to take an interest in their careers. End of the day, they want what everyone wants - a good career, managers who care and a company that is concerned about their well being.
I just need to coach them, or as K says, use the socratic approach Radha, coach, coach, coach.

The school saga over

2007-02-05T17:44:00.000+05:30

T is now in school. He had to sit through 2 interviews. 1 with Greenwood High (you heard it right) and the other with Gopalan's. K & I were nervous and squawking before the interview - we yelled at each other several times and tried to prime T who was as unconcerned as can be. Of course, he tore the interview apart. The principal kept giving him these cards with pictures and he was supposed to identify them. He did and asked for more so before we left the building we were IN!!!!!!!! PHEWWWWW!

So the school story is over! Most relieved. Greenwood looks like Doon School from the outside and they boast of activities like horse riding, basketball, swimming and chess. It's on the outskirts of Bangalore, so T is going to have to take a bus. Fortunately the pre-k classes are in Koramangala which is super close by.

Now I have to start looking for summer activities - jeez, it never ends.

Happy Pongal

2007-01-17T08:51:00.000+05:30

I have become a maami - it's official.

I celebrated Pongal with the in-laws in Chennai. The celebration continued with my new maid Lakshmi, (who is a dream come true).

For the 1st time in my entire life, I had a pooja room - er shelf, decorated with sugar cane, flowers and diyas. Lakshmi made an elaborate kolam (see picture). The only problem was, I had NO idea what pooja to do... so I stood in front of the pooja shelf prayed for like 1 minute and got back to working on my presentation. Lakshmi made awesome pongal both sweet and salty and that was that. T and K were sunning their buns in Chennai so they got the full blast of the celebrations. Chennai btw shut down for 4 days (in addition the weekend). They obviously have their priorities right!

The Montessori Mafia

2007-01-16T22:06:00.000+05:30

Krishnan and I have been trying to get the kid into montessori. There's apparently a mafia that controls entry into all schools in Bangalore. We undertook what we considered a reasonable effort - pinpointed about 6 schools that were within at 10 Km. radius of our home. We applied early, filled in the forms, enclosed nice pictures of the kiddie and ourselves and paid up like good citizens. K also did the rounds of the schools, kowtowing in front of snotty registrars, sweet talking the chowkidar.
Well, just our luck - the govt. passed this big resolution about illegal admissions practices at schools. Apparently, schools were throwing open admissions the Sept/October of the year before the kid would start school and this is a big no no as per the govt.
So what happened? THe schools stopped giving anyone any information about the admissions process, but the process continued. So, dummies like K an I would call the schools and ask for admissions status. SChool would say, "sorry, no news" we would go about our business. Suddenly, I started hearing about this spate of admissions to various schools - so I got nervous. I go to the schools today and guess what? The admissions lists are out and T is mysteriously not on any of them! What happened?????? This is NOT HARVARD or YALE. This is MONTESSORI!!!!!!!!!!!
As usual, the folks with connections to mafia's or people, who know people who know people in high places, got their kids into school Our 3 year old is still in a play home around the corner. JEEEZ - I'm not sure of strategies at this point... Anyone know how to tackle this?

The must see Hampi...

2007-01-09T10:15:00.000+05:30

I am still recovering from my winter vacation! We spent 4 days in Chennai, 2 days in Hampi and the rest of the time on trains - or so it felt.

In Chennai, it was food, food, food, shopping and the beach! I also got to see Dhoom 2, may I add that Hrithik is now my favorite Bollywood hunk(despite his somewhat prognathus Jaw, and his 6 fingers). For those of you who don't get Hindi, or Bollywood, it's still a must see. It's like a Bond film gone mad. :)

Hampi was a mad dash.... There is very little info available,you have to go to the Karnataka State Tourism Department Corporation (KSTDC) and ask them for ideas and trust that they will hook you up. For others, with no time - like ME, I went online and guess what? nothing's available there either. I got the best information from blogs on the internet, and went with that.

Here is what we did....

We stayed at the KSTDC, Hotel Mayura Bhuvaneswari - a decent hotel, nice A/C rooms, 4 kms from Hampi. The rooms are fairly comfortable and clean. The bathrooms were nice and had hot showers. Sadly the food there stunk! What made it particularly annoying was a really long menu that whetted our appetite but when we asked the server, there were 3 things that were available.

All this will change next year as I've heard that Karnataka is really focusing on Hampi and I saw several resorts under construction.

Anyway, Christmas and the holiday season is a BAD time to make bookings at the last minute. I lucked out on the rooms and we had so so luck with the trains. We snagged 6 sleepers in 2nd Class.Honestly, I have NO idea what gyan, Lalloo is giving HBS students, IIM and Stanford students. The coach was FILTHY, I killed a few roaches with Krishnan's chappals and lost the rest of my night's sleep over a small mouse I saw running around.

In Hampi, we got auto's from the train station they charged us about Rs 120/- to cover the 10 km's to the hotel. Then they hooked us up with one of their buddy's who had a big SUV and could lug all of us.

We spent a ton of time wandering around the ruins and in Hampi bazaar. The ruins are beautiful! Hampi bazaar has tons of kitschy silly stuff that teenagers would love. 10/- buck t'shirts, funky skirts, mirror belts you name it. There are a ton of Kashmiri and Rajasthani migrants who have landed up here.

BTW - we were totally freaked out to discover that one of the Kashmiri shops was run by an LeT terrorist. This dude was apparently talking on some cell phone and got nabbed by the local police. Apparently, there's a big gang that is making a beeline for Bangalore Airport, Infy and Wipro. GOD!!! When will the Indian Govt. wake up and adopt a zero tolerance policy with these people.
Fortunately for us, this stuff was discovered 1 day after we left, or we could have got stuck in the brawl!

Anyway, we also rented bicycles for about Rs 20/- for the day in Hampi Bazaar and biked around the place. It was really fun and a great workout. We created a makeshift sling for Tejas with a Dhoti and strapped him to Krishnan and biked around. It was a blast! Also hiked up the hill at the crack of dawn and watched the sunrise - desi style. There was a guy at the top making cups of chai for the hikers. So while the furriners did yoga and meditated. The desi's drank tea and relaxed!

We also visited Tungabhadra dam. So coooool. HUGE affair, with tons of water. A nice park with a musical fountain that we all loved. Especially T - they played Made in India and Sarey Jahan Se Acha - songs that T knows and can sing. So he sang along!

Much FUN was had despite the train ride. Here are some pics of the trip...

A Very Happy New Year to you all.

Love, Love, Love and PEACE!

Hampi Trip

80th parties

2006-12-09T16:11:00.000+05:30

This has been a week for 80 year olds! My dad turned 80, My grand uncle turned 80 too.

We had an awesome party for dad at the Indiranagar Club. About 60 people turned up. There was pineapple cake and chocolate cake. A magician and a caricature artist!

It was really fun and I don't think appa has ever had such a good time for his bash. What amazed me was the number of people who said the most wonderful things about appa.

Party preps - This was about the easiest party I have ever thrown. A few phone calls and I had a magician, the artist, 2 cakes, a hall and food all done.
Between the driver and the gaggle of girls we have at mom's house, we got everything picked up and arranged. Krishnan and I reached the party some 10 minutes before, yelled at a bunch of people who set everything up double quick and then we were done!

The BEST part, NO CLEANING!!!!!!

Some pics

2006-11-29T13:57:00.000+05:30

Here are some pics from the new car
- i t came with a ribbon. Our driver Meenakshi broke various coconuts and did pooja while Krishnan, Tejas and I gawked.

Typhoid Mary

2006-11-29T13:34:00.000+05:30

I've just recovered from Typhoid. It's horrifying and positively medieval - It's one of those things that you expect everyone else to get, never oneself. I ate out dangerously ONCE - I had a gol gappa and chaat fix. At work, i've been eating salads everyday in an effort to keep the weight down. Well, that was obviously a daft thing to do!

I was admitted to the hospital for a day, had spiking fever for 1 week and had to take IV antibiotics shots for 1 week. I'm ok now but am 15 lbs lighter.

I have a LONG list of worries now - Chickengunya - this lethal disease comes from mosquitos and EVERYONE and their mother seems to be getting this. Symptoms knock you out for 3 months! Malaria, dengue fever and encephalitis and meningitis also are on my list.
Thinking about stuff like this makes me want to rush back to the Developed world where at least you can sue doctors if you don't get well.

I got Krishnan and Tejas their cholera, typhoid shots and the maids have been given STRICT instructions on hand washing.

btw - my vonage phone is set up and when I call it's pretty miserable. However, others can call me at my old Boston number.

Tejas is loving school! He's become sooo talkative. "Amma are you ok, are you sick? Do you need to thuppu?" He also sings "Hum honge Kammiyaab" Loudly with his maid Usha. He has these other 2 little girls Rohini and Ambika who along with Usha keep him entertained. He's having so much fun here. From Tejas's perspective moving to India was the BEST decision we ever made.

Shopping lists

2006-11-10T10:26:00.000+05:30

This is my shopping list to bring to India, if i were to make this move again today.

Fabric Softener - The hard water makes my clothes feel like sawdust. I want them bouncy soft again!
Stain Sticks or bleach pens - Maids don't have a concept of getting stains out, they just shove stuff into the washer and expect things to happen...
Method Lavender cleaner - *sigh* - it really makes my home smell great
A Manicure and Pedicure kit - even though the high end spa's have good sterlization equipment i'm still scared
Nice women's suits - they still haven't mastered tailoring for women
Exercise DVD's - pilate's, aerobics etc.
Funky Shower curtains from Target :) or IKEA - I HATE wet bathrooms and the water gets everywhere
Good sandals for infants and toddlers (after the age of 5 you get great stuff)
Soft and absorbant toilet paper - the local stuff is pretty abrasive.
Cutlery - the local stuff is quite teeny tiny
Towels - I bought these awesome Lands End Bamboo fibre ones - VERY NICE! Should've bought more!
Baby music and DVD's - thank you revati for getting me loads of baby music, videos etc.
Hanging File Folders - Don't get them anywhere...
Good quality bug spray
Swimming pool floaties, fins, swimsuits

I'd lose:
All furniture
Anything electonic
Diapers, baby bottles etc.
Rugs
Crockery - you get pretty nice stuff here
Curtains - very nice stuff here
Sheets etc. - unless you buy some 800 thread count variety

Those little things...

2006-10-27T16:49:00.000+05:30

Moving in, settling in, dealing with a crazy new maid, the chaos of boxes, confusion and dirt, electricians, plumbers and of course WORK! It's been a crazy few weeks.

The move to the apartment was ok, long live B.R.Shastry! if anyone wants stuff moved, I hope you use BR - only one or two small things were damaged. Considering we had 2 houses worth of goods to bring over, EVERYTHING including 2 cases of wine made it back.
I have to add that Wine and electronics are most coveted by the customs, wine is charged at 150% duty! Electronics are up for duty as well. So, the recommended strategy for handling custom's officials is "Don't go there!". I let the shippers take care of this. I got out with Rs/- 800 (approx. $40) duty. The goods were shipped end of July, got here in September, we moved in 1st week of October.

The settling in was just miserable - nothing is easy in India.
The electricians, contractors and other folk show up at hours that don't make sense - (try 11 PM at night!) Someone has to constantly chase after them and then they do a pathetic job.
We had to get Mosquito proofing for the windows, a water purifier installed, rat proof the doors, hang up paintings. The outcome after one month? Mosquito proofing that falls off, the water heaters in the bathroom need to be banged with a stick to get them to work. The water purifier is sitting on the wall, but is totally not usable. The rats are having a field day in the garden.

The only nice things that work - the music system with a massive converter, the LCD, HDTV ready TV that's up on the wall, but we can't watch dvd's because we don't have extension chords and nothing reaches! The paintings are up but after they had put in at least 2 extra holes to a painting. Krishnan and I tried to meddle and explain about levels etc. and they made 5 holes before they got it right. So then we just looked the other way and let them do their job. I'm hoping nothing falls on my head in the near future.

Our entourage - Sankari the maid, Usha who cooks and watches Tejas for half the day, Meenakshi the driver and Ramu the Gardener.
Sankari, is from a village in TamilNadu called Puttur, she doesn't know ANYTHING about living in the city, so I have to train her. On the 1st night in the apartment, she refused to go to the bathroom and peed in the lawn. I had to train that out of her!
Usha, is pretty cool and cooks extremely well, but she is engaged in 4 different places and I have been unable to poach her.
Meenakshi is an awesome driver, but he lives 2 hours away and has a new born so K and I feel really bad and keep sending him home early.
Ramu - Mom's managing him. The garden is slowly taking shape.

Shafi is our general handyman - problem is he's never around when he says he will be and pinning him down to a task is really tough. We have figured out a "working relationship" Krishnan calls and hollars every 2-3 days, he comes over does 2-3 tasks and then disappears for a week.

Bum Squirters - interesting contraptions to clean bum. In polite company they are known as "hygeine taps". Ours were installed on the wrong side of the loo and squirt water everywhere except on said bum!

I miss you all!

Apartment Hunt

2006-09-25T10:14:00.000+05:30

Krishnan and I finally buckled down to hunting for an apartment.
Our criteria:

Must be "close" to the parents. "Close" = walking distance
Must have 3 bedrooms and at least 2 bathrooms
Water shouldn't be an issue. This means, there needs to be a borwell + corporation water.
Musn't be on a busy street - this one is really hard to fill, because every street is busy.
Must have decent quality - this is biggie, most apartments in Def Col are in crappy shape. The newer ones are nicer, but it's horrifying what people will put up with after paying astronomical amounts of money.
Decent layout - a lot of apartment layouts are horrendous, pokey and dreadful. Considering breeze and light are the nicest attributes of Bangalore, you'd think people would build keeping gardens, breeze and light in mind. Nope, Nope, Nope. This is a tougher requirement to fill than anticipated.

So we got lucky. We've found an apartment walking distance from the paren'ts house. Of course Krishnan and I are plagued with earnest decorators, so this apartment has this bizaare leapord printed wall. Suggestions to cover this up would be most appreciated. :)

However, the place is pretty decent...

It has 3 bedrooms, 3 bathrooms. It's on the ground floor and has access to a mini garden - this is a BIG thing. (Either you want a garden or you want a city view... ). The enthusiastic decorators have painted this bizaare village scenery outside and there's an outside bar as well. So i'm all set for parties. COME VISIT MEEEE. The bedrooms all look out to the garden or to their own balconies so generally it's a pretty airy apartment.

The building though is a little old and the fixtures look a little old... so we'll see how that works out.

We found some AWESOME properties that we can't afford or that don't meet our distance criteria....

Total Environment Project - This is FANTASTIC. On my wishlist - it's an apartment building on 7th Main and 6th Cross in Indiranagar. Started out at 1.3 Crores, has 16 apartments, all sold out. Resale is 3 Crores... *sigh* I'm on the lookout for more of these.

Shobha Builders- folks from work live here. These builders are excellent! They have done really good things with the interiors and they have a decent attention to detail.

Adarsh - These builders are the ones that created the famous Adarsh Palm Meadows, featured in the NYT etc. Very Californian, gated community. Miles away from everything. The cons of living there - far from stores, getting help is tough and BLOODY expensive (rents start at 55K and go up to 2 Lakhs a month). Pros - AWESOME homes, sidewalked streets, very pretty, quiet and Californian.

We move into our apartment in 2 weeks HOOORAY...

Up next - the Appliance shopping review....

Birthday Celebrations

2006-09-13T11:17:00.000+05:30

Hi folks,
The birthday celebrations were awesome. I got some major bling from amma - diamond necklace and earrings, and a sari. Krishnan took me for a spa treatment - a massage and a pedicure at this spa called the LimeLight on 100ft road.
The massage was pretty nice, but a little strange. The masseuse gave me a tummy rub - WEIRD - and there's no concept of privacy. Clothes off means clothes off and no hiding underneath the sheet either. They have no hesitation in whipping the meagre towel away and going at it! After a total oil slickdown, I was coated with a mixture of almonds, honey, rosewater and wheatgerm. Then off to the steam room. After marinating for for 15 minutes, I got to soak in a jacuzzi with glass beads and what not. Overall awesome experience.
Krishnan's masseuse fell in love with him and gave him 25 minutes more than me. He was also slavish about Krishnan's pedicure - all because Krishnan was his usual chatty self. The masseuse was so thrilled that someone wanted to hear all about his life history that he gave Krishnan the royal treatment.
Krishnan, Appa, Tejas and I went to the Club for dinner. Chinese food, rum and coke and chocolate ice-cream. I was p-r-e-t-t-y happy!
At work my co-workers got me a surprise birthday cake - all chocolate and gooey, and lots of flowers. It was really fun!

Wish were were together!

Culture shock and 100 ft. rd.

2006-09-07T23:19:00.000+05:30

It's been almost 2 weeks here in Bangalore and I've been house hunting quite a bit.

This is a tough housing market, despite all the buildings sprouting up. I have decided to stay more or less close to my parents place in Defence Colony, Indiranagar. The little guy loves having the grandparents around and my commute to work is 15 minutes in non-rush hour and 25 minutes in rush hour - which in Bangalore is saying A LOT!
The other day we saw this really cute apartment 3 bed, 3 bath, updated and pretty with a teeny patch of garden going for Rs/-40K a month + maintenance. Yikes! . Other issues we've run into - water problems, not big enough, too big and too pricey, modern interiors unavailable etc. The really swanky apartments are SUPER far away from Indiranagar and would make it impossible to travel over to the parent's house. We finally found an apartment that was really nice and more reasonable bu we discovered it had water problems. The bigger nix factor was that we would have been living over one of my ex-suitor's sister's house. HOOOEYYY. Some of you know him as the ear wax guy!
How miserable would that be? We're still looking!

100 ft. Rd. They have built this crazy flyover that connects Koramangala to Indiranagar via 100 ft. Rd. For those of you who have visited Bangalore, 100 ft. Rd. used to be reasonably peacful. These days, you can't even dream of walking down there. It's become a shopping drag with stores like Levi's, Reeboks( which is a TOTAL rip off of the Nike stores), Jaipur Bandhej, Food World, and other high end retailers. It's a shopping paradise, if I could only find the time to go.

Culture shock! Bangalore is NOTHING like what it was during my wedding in '02. Heck it's nothing like what it was 6 months ago. The place is BUSTLING with people and activity. It's quite energizing in the mornings, but can get stressful after a long day of work. NOBODY exercises and EVERYBODY smokes. It's so annoying. I have become very californian, I go to the park and run around it - and you see people ambling slowly. I dodge them and they look at me like i'm INSANE. This is typical of the attitude:

Overheard at the coffee machine
Radha: Hey, I went running in the park today, i'm feeling a little sore.
Co-worker: Who were you chasing?
Radha: ha, very funny, nobody.
Co-Worker: You're kidding right? you like ran in the park for fun? (insert completely incredulous tone )

I MISS THE WORKOUT MINDSET in the US. Here people want to drink, party, smoke and drink. I outgrew this a LONG time ago.

The youg folk are so HEP, and so SMART, they know what they want, are enjoying their new found wealth and are generally living it up. I have NEVER seen a group of people SO committed to personal success. It's scary.

Good Night.

Somethings never change

2006-09-04T07:22:00.000+05:30

Please tell me, what's the difference between 11th September and 11-09 when written in a form? EVERYTHING apparently!

I had to fill out a form for the Indiranagar club and Appa gave me a really hard time because,
a) I had filled it out in Pen, instead of creating a "draft version" in pencil.
b) Apparently saying my birthday is "September 11th, 1972" is not equal to saying "11/09/1972"
c) The address I wrote in was wrong - never mind that this is the address I've been sending letters to for ever! The format never made sense and it still doesn't.

So now, after yelling and screaming for an hour, I still have to go in with white out and change everything. At least white out is acceptable!

This is babugiri at its worst! Why, when we can make electronic forms for the rest of the world, we can't make them for Indiranagar club - is beyond me!

I went over to Reliance world with Krishnan and the brat to print out forms. State of the art facility but the printing process is painful. It took "them" 4 tries to get the printing right and they tried to sting us for their mistakes.

You can't just say "print preview, print" - you have to send it over the network and the reliance tsarina controls the printing. It's a pain if your documents are odd sized or have difficult margins.

ok - this does feel like a Monday morning rant! but there it is!

Have a good week everyone.

Coorg Coffee

2006-09-03T05:45:00.000+05:30

It's been 18 years since I "lived" in India. It's a little disconcerting to realize that the annual Indian holiday won't be over in 3 weeks.

It has been 1 week since my Krishnan, Tejas and I landed in Bangalore and I have already spent over 70 hours at work, bought a cell phone (the very James Bond looking Nokia 9300i http://www.nokia.co.in/nokia/0,,86652,00.html), hired a driver and am almost ready to finalize on an apartment rental.
In between all this, I've found time to sample an awesome restaurant 100ft. Boutique Restaurant and attend an investor meeting for a new school concept.
This is certainly a happening town!

I love that my job has these awesome coffee machines that give you a small shot of "south Indian Coffee Strong", "South Indian Coffee Weak", "Capuccino", "masala chai" and herbal teas. All dished out by an attendant - who will even sugar the coffee for you if you ask. And the coffee is ALWAYS hot!

The people I work with are young, energetic and fun loving and I LOVE being at work.

Tejas has been a good kid overall, though he has developed a heck of a temper! He's also getting insanely spoilt and I'm trying to figure out how to unspoil him. He has started school and marches off every morning with Usha, carrying his little ladybug backpack, packed with tiffin.

Krishnan has started work as well and has tons to do. He's loving it here, despite having faced Bangalore rush hour traffic, a crotchety kid and no sleep.

The only major issue we're all dealing with is bad throats and coughs, picked up from the plane ride over! In fact, I got laryngitis, lost my voice completely and am trying to nurse it back.

Things I need to get used to:

Prosperity, the middle class has some SERIOUS buying power. They buy brand everything! Despite the $ in the bank, I'm still really conservative with my spending...
Mobile Mania, People LOVE their phones. There are phones, cool ringtones everywhere. People interrupt meetings, dinners, bathroom breaks, movies and conversations to reach for the phone. The airport was really funny - with all these people walking around talking to themselves, looking like cyborgs with the bluetooth earpieces gleaming away.

Traffic, WOW! It makes Manhattan rush hour look like child's play. I'm going to try and get some photos of the traffic - the only way to deal with this seems to be to relax in the backseat and meditate. EVERYONE talks about the traffic problems. I heard a ridiculous statistic that 500 cars are added to the roads daily! WHERE? soon people will just have to walk - as there won't be anywhere for the cars to go.

Dust, it's EVERYWHERE! It feels as if the city has just been completely dug up and is being rebuilt. Everywhere and everything feels like it is coated with a fine layer of dust.

Tech Parks, Walk into EGL (Embassy Golf Links) or the other tech corridoors and it's like visting Singapore or someplace like that. Gleaming glass, granite and steel everywhere with perfectly manicured lawns. Underground car parks and clean, clean, clean public places.

This is just the beginning of the list... more to come later.