It's Complicated

There's this trend underway in Bangalore and indeed in the rest of middle class/upper middle class India with failed/failing/on the brink/just divorced/separated/taking a break/ema's/bits on the side marriages. Here I insert my disclaimer, the sample size is my acquaintance list, and it's not a scientific survey or anything but it is what I have noticed from polling people, reading up about it, talking to friends of friends etc. This is my opinion and observation only and may not represent the true state of affairs with married folk around here. Ok disclaimer done.

A large number of my acquaintances - friends I know, people I work with, people who live in my neighborhood are all going through this "It's Complicated" phase. Gosh were ever 2 words so loaded with meaning...
Anyway, so there it is - and i've been trying to figure out why (in a very unscientific manner). Here are my 2 cents -
- I think women, have developed a lot more independence and empowerment since when I was gone. There's nothing like having monetary power in the marriage equation to have the power to assert yourself. There is also a lot less reason in India these days to be nice to one's partner or to compromise.
- With the pressures of managing life in India. Work is tough, long hours, traffic, crowds, life still isn't as geared up for automation as it could be - Intolerance is on the rise. It's much harder and oh- so much more work to understand, discuss and really make compromises to make relationships work.
- It's financially not super prohibitive to be separated - unlike the US
- I think the sexual revolution has thrown off its covers and got into an oh so sexy bikini and is sashaying its way down middle india. Women and men, talk and read about sex more openly, are much more un-inhibited and are more unafraid of trying out their options.
- Men and women alike have more options, and that is perhaps a different state from the parental pressure when they were looking for partners.
- It's high stress with the working group of married folks. Hang around at an office long enough, with tons of work to do, lots of stress, a long suffering spouse and hey presto - you've got a natural masala mix ready to marinate.
- There a TON more promiscuity on TV (ok, now I just sound old and from another generation).

I am so curious to see where this will lead. This seems like such a blatant contradiction to what was traditionally touted as "the way of life". Im guessing it's a natural pendulum. It's got to swing to one side completely and will eventually come back. I do want to write back with some resources for counseling in Bangalore - for those that need it.